Lunch With You and My Memories
by mysteryAphrodite
Summary: Levi finally goes to visit the ocean and each lunch with the one he loves the most. One-shot. Angst.


Happy Single's Awareness Day! This is a one-shot full of angsty feels. If you're feeling lonely, read this. I'm sure he's more lonely than you. Well... I hope you like it!

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><p>Levi's Point of View<p>

He took a hold of the worn handle on the wooden picnic basket. With his other hand shoved in his pocket, he started to walk.

He walked away from the grand splendor of the crumbling walls he once fought to defend. He walked away from the commitment of leading countless soldiers to their downfall. With each step, he walked away from the memories of the titan war.

The soft wind blew the grainy dust into his eyes and hair. He combed his hands through his dark, dark hair. How disgusting, he thought. How insanitary for him to be covered in dirt.

He was dirty, yes. His hands are forever stained with the blood of his comrades and enemies. His body is forever colored with ugly bruises and scars. His mind forever clouded in a dusty cloud of melancholy.

It would never wash away.

The sea could wash this away. If he could go and sit in the telling waters forever and let all those terrible things disappear. If he could lay there and become clean...

The crunch of leaves disturbed his thoughts. It was the forest he knew so well. The tall trees, dark and looming. And the damp floor covered with traces of scampering animals and titan footprints. The fallen trees, crushed by each titan as they boomed through. The fallen soldiers...

The fallen soldiers. His fallen team. All of them. Their smiles were only a memory. It was a wonder that they were able to be happy sometimes. They truly were such an honor to work with. How loyal, and truthful, and brave, and trustworthy they were. His special squad. Fallen.

His chest hurt as he thought of them in past tense. They were alive.

He stopped in his tracks, and clutched onto the basket handle tightly.

There was blood. Their blood. Smeared on the tree trunks. Now a rusty brown after all that time.

After all that time... After they died.

Not only his special operations squad, but his fellow commanders.

He took a step.

He took a look back into his memories, thinking about the ever cheerful, yet serious blond man. Erwin Smith. His partner in the commanding army. He died a noble death. He smiled as he took his last breath, knowing it was his time.

He held onto the basket and walked forward. Past the trees, past the bushes, past the enemies that destro-

Destroyed another friend.

As much as he'd never admit it, he mourned her death more than any other officer. He remembers.. He remembers when he urged his horse faster from the opposite end of the formation to reach the titan that held her. He remembers how she stayed starry-eyed as her glasses fell to the ground. He remembers how she was destroyed by the thing she loved the most. That one split moment of dazed fear in her bright eyes. Hanji's bright eyes were only dull then. Only dull when she died grinning about her once-in-a-lifetime experience of being eaten by a titan.

Fucking Hanji. He always thought she was too curious for her own good. But he cried. He cried anyway.  
>He reached her too late to save her.<p>

He stepped out of the forest to leave behind the depressing remembrances.

His weight made him sink into the white sand. He took off his boots and felt the powdery grains slip between his toes. He sighed, and breathed in the salty air. The breeze caressed his cheeks and made him feel content.

A sense of calmness swept over him.

He started toward a small grey stone a little off the shore. Little cracks had just began to form on the top half. A crab skittered away when he sat down on a large slab of rock next to the stone.

He took of the fluttering cape and placed it next to him, between the two rocks. He weighed it down with the basket. He carefully unpacked the contents. A covered loaf of bread, a small container of pasta, some smoked beef, a canteen of water, and a glass bottle of red wine.

He had meticulously timed his walk to arrive at the beach for lunch.

He placed everything onto his thinning Scouting Legion mantle. He poured himself a full glass of wine and sat for a moment.

He raised the glass and toasted to the sky, and then toward the grey stone in front of him.

"You would have been old enough to drink this today, Eren."

He lowered his glass, and placed his head in his hands.

Eren Jaeger. Aged 17. Member of the Survey Corps. Humanity's Greatest Hope.

That is what his gravestone read.

He let the glass shatter onto the slab of stone he sat on. The wine spilled out like blood.

He clenched the sides of his head. The boy had cut Levi out of his malfunctioning gear in the middle of a battle and saved him. Eren pushed his captain forward and screamed for him to run. Eren released the cables to grab onto the tree across the way, trying to distract the two titans after them. Levi couldn't do anything but watch the young boy fight them off on his own. He couldn't help without his gear. He turned around as he ran.

He turned around only to see Eren's cables grabbed and torn by one titan, and then his body falling into the clutches of the other.

Levi screamed.

Eren struggled and slashed, but at last it was no use. He turned his head toward Levi, and said his last words.

Levi couldn't hear them. The rush of blood pounded in his ears as he saw Eren captive. As he saw the fragile body crack in the large hands. As he saw the scarlet blood spray through the air and splattering the forest.

He screamed again, running recklessly toward the torn boy. He didn't care what happened..he just needed..

_Heichou, I love you, so please don't hurt yourself._

_Levi, I'll always be with you to fight and protect you._

_I'll make sure you'll come out alive, Levi._

_I promise take you to the ocean one day, w__hen it's all over._

_We'll always be together, Levi._

He raised his head, and let the tears flow like the wine on the stone, staining the sand. The continuous breeze cooled the tears running down. The wind brushed his hair gently, and pulled his clothes in all sorts of directions.

It caressed his hands and face, making the tears dry out and disappear. The salty air kissed his head and hugged his body.

He closed his eyes. It was all too familiar. The way the sea breezes touched him..

They felt like Eren.

Eren's hugs. Eren's hands. Eren's kisses. The breeze calmed him like Eren did. It made him feel like he was in that safe haven again.

He reached out to the swirling wind, and thought about his lover.

He loves Eren. Even when the boy died, he remained in his heart. His mind. Eren was a part of him. They had given each other some of their soul.

And it was Eren's soul and spirit that reached him right then and there. The air turned warm and so did his heart. It was as if his lover was holding his hand and snuggling his head onto his chest.

"Eren... Are you there?" He pressed his hands together and hugged himself. "Please...don't leave me again. Don't break your promises.." He sobbed. His lover had come back.

A soft voice whispered throughout the air. "I never left you, Levi..."

"We'll always be together.."

The warmth on his chest disappeared and he opened his eyes. A soft emerald hue of light was fading above the gravestone.

The wind spoke one last time.

"Levi.. I love you.."

His eyes widened as he realized his lover was disappearing.

"Eren! Eren, please.. I love…you."

He was overcome with tears. The droplets flowed down quickly, running down his cheeks and chin and staining the piece of stone.

Eren was gone again.

"Stop lying, you stupid brat.." He said softly. "You said we would go to the ocean together, and you end up fucking buried here."

He swept the sand over the broken glass and stood up. He stared down at the cold grave that marked the final resting place of his lover. The wind stopped blowing over him. The gentle caresses ceased.

Eren was really gone.

It was not difficult to recall every breathing moment they were in each other's company. Even if the weren't, the coy glances exchanged across the dining room always made him choke on his drinks.

He missed all the romantic crap they would tell each other. He missed sitting in his office and sharing tea. He missed the nights Eren would sneak out of his quarters and snuggle close with him. He missed the passionate embraces. He missed the way Eren did everything. He missed Eren.

He started to slowly pack up the uneaten foods back in the basket and stood up. He draped the dark green cloak over Eren's grave. It fluttered just a bit.

Levi looked up at the great azure sky, and then rested his gaze on the gleaming waters of the sea. The breaking waves beckoned him.

"Eren… I'll see you soon. Like you said, we will always be together…"


End file.
